Balela

methhomework:

me: so you took a shower and then you heard the gun shot

witness: yes

me as a lawyer: isn’t the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate

witness: i’m bald

(via mateprongs)

neutralnewt:

iiiarclight:

how to be cool

A) cool sunglasses emoji
B)

is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format

(via guiltyfilthycasuals)

queen-of-the-highhway:

pearswhy:

professor on the first day of class: *says the fuck word*
all the freshmen in the room: :O

“The fuck word”

(via guiltyfilthycasuals)

transmutes:

maybe rey’s real father was the friends we made along the way

(via reallygoodguacamole-deactivated)

xanodite:

_{sssn-neptune-vasilias:}

_otpdisaster:

_{Person B knowing they’re undoubtedly about to die within the next few seconds, likely from the gaping wound they’re bleeding out from. Instead of calling for help, they phone Person A and carry on a casual conversation as if nothing is wrong, making sure to mention how much they love them before their time runs out.}

_{Alright, Satan, just calm down for a while, you’ve done your job, you can punch out for the day.}

(via nolanthebiggestnerd-deactivated)